hiaz... im down with flu and a little cough... why? cuz you dun luv me anymore... :( and why do you not luv me anymore... i dunno... maybe cuz you have found someone else... someone prettier... slimmer... better... and is willing to take the initative... maybe cuz you just can't stand me... that im so damn irritating... that im so damn ugly... and you can't even go out with me in peace... something like tt rite? hiaz... im such a failure... i am such a bad gf... i can't even make you happier... i just make you have more burdens with my problems... maybe like i said... i owe you something in our past life... and now i have to return it... but how? im can't even do a good job properly.. you know something? i luv to see you smile.. it makes my heart melt instantly... and even though you are very quiet... it still seems so nice and warm with you around... but now... everything... is diff... you have left me... for that one little thing... which happened before we became together.... which means i had not betrayed you... but you... maybe cuz you dun trust me... maybe cuz you wan to take this as an excuse to leave me here... all alone.. maybe maybe... ppl... say that you dun actually love me... that you are just playing with me... and thats all... thats why we breaked... thats why it all ended so fast... but i choose to believe you... i choose to believe that you still luv me... but it is like... when i msg you... like yesterday night... all you gave me was "we are still frens." like whats with the fren thingy... you know i dun wanna be frens... and you ask me whats the diff? if you have luved me as much as i luved you... you would have felt the diff... i have been crying almost everytime i think abt you... the times we had together... but it has all ended... jsut like that... hiaz... you say you wanna be with me and that you will lend me ur shoulders when i cry... but where are you now? its like ivan is always there for me when i cry... you were never ever with me when i cry... maybe cuz i'll go call ivan when im upset... thats cuz he is closer to me... and he knows how to console me... and sometimes... so miraculously... he will call or msg me when im upset... but you... hiaz... i dunno... maybe you dun dare to call me.. maybe your busy... maybe you just dun wan to,... i dunno... its ur mind... i dunno what you wan.. what you think... i just have to sit here... and guess it all the time... maybe you really dun luv me anymore...
hiaz... ppl think that im trying to break up their relationship... but im not... why do i always get into this kind of trouble... hiaz... i do not try to break ppl up... i just tell ppl what is the right thing to do... and whats the fact and truth... if both of you truely luv each other... you all wun be shaken by what i have said... i haven be shaken by all the rumors that have been going ard abt andy... cuz i luv him... so thats the truth... if you all can't even have the basics of a relationship.... like eye contact.. ad be willing to tell the truth and have trust in each other... what the point of being boy-girl frens? especially when you treat each other like frens... when a person is not willing to open up to you... it means that she or he is not used to you... you have to try to make the person more comfortable... if you try to hold her hand.. and she moves away... its either cuz she doesn't like you or she just wants to lets things go slowly and not that fast... open up to each other on how you feel abt certain stuff... dun be like... everything "anything" "i dunno"... bgf are not like tt... they are open to each other... even though that may cause alot of quarrels... quarrels can let you know and learn if that person really luvs you and what are his or her dislikes... hiaz... im really not trying to break the two of you up... just... maybe its not time... give both of you sometime to get closer first... before you all start the bgf thing... anyway... its sec three already... both of you need to concentrate on your studies... i really wan to see my best fren and my son to do well and get good grades and maybe aft sec 4 or wat... you all can be together... let time do the job...
*~[LuV iS So FuStRAtInG bUt WhY dO wE aLL sTiLL lUv 2 bE lUVeD N LuV]~*
